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Utah is a pretty state, at least from what I saw. I stayed with my friend Rich and his boys in a ski resort town called Eden about an hour from SLC. In Eden, they have a golf course, a gas station and a grocery store. Although the lady that works there will tell you different, you can NOT get a wolf shirt in the golf course gift shop or a shirt with a wolf attacking a moose or vice versa. Some days Rich went to work in the city and other days he worked on his manifesto from the safe confines of his remote cabin. I went into the city a few days and found it to be a nice, clean place filled with nice and clean people. Their trains have very clean, comfortable cushioned seating and train fare runs on the honor system. When you go to a bar they either make you purchase a membership for a small fee or sign in which are both stupid rules and when you finally do get in they’ll serve you a crappy Mormon beer which has a 3.2% alcohol content and tastes like air mixed with water. Some homeless youths I spoke to advised me to not drink any water in Salt Lake City because the Mormons have added lead and there is a giant magnet under the Big Mormon temple that will keep you from leaving. I could not substantiate this theory but it was very unusual when I was trying to take a picture of the Temple and my camera became very uncooperative suddenly, pictures coming out scrambled and the camera shutting off for no reason. Frustrated, I sat down at the edge of the pool that contained the reflection of the temple and watched a photographer take pictures of a newlywed couple. After silently negotiating with the local prevailing higher power I was finally able to get my picture. Pretty nice place, Utah.

6 Comments:
Your writing has greatly improved, (though I'd like to see much more). Compare/contrast different states - or is every town the same old Big Buy, Farbucks, Office Detour kind of place? Any more wild turkeys or Austrolopithicus Turkensis, or whatever? Fall rainy season here and we need something good to read. Some of the comments are inane, but you can't elevate everyone.
KQR
(if it sounds like a Language Arts teacher, it probably is!)
dan dan bo ban bannana nanna fo fan mi my oh DAN!!!
hmmm... the salt lake city,eh? The first time i drove thru salt lake city, i was offered to buy a baby from two people that probably shouldn't have procreated in the first place. Then, wound up staying in this shit hole of a motel, which was fine because we wanted cheap, but didn't quite want a room that screamed murder scene either. slashes and all that in what was left of the shower curtain. yargfh.
did you see the only tree of utah? it's that huge statue off of I-80, going west towards california? i played around there one afternoon! i wanna maybe make the only (______) of illinois? have to think of what that would be? perhaps the only wombat? are wombats around here?
surely miss you dan!! drop a line anytime, before i pick up that dime and roll it in the slime of timbucktwo and you in that green bean of a shoe.
HAVE A FUCKING AWESOME HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!!
p.s.. emily specifically said she'll be "rolling up on this blog later".
"Some homeless youths I spoke to advised me to not drink any water in Salt Lake City because the Mormons have added lead and there is a giant magnet under the Big Mormon temple that will keep you from leaving. I could not substantiate this theory..."
Young Dan, substantiation resides in the physics. Lead's composition is such that the electrons do not have the ability to "spin" or in other words align with the field of magnetic flux and thereby form either a temporary or permanent magnetic attraction. Lead is non-magnetic so drinking lead could keep people attracted to SLC but only to seek medical attention in the same way that old lead paint chips (aka wall candy) debilitated people with lethargy.
Interestingly, there is no known material that stops magnetic fields. The fields can only be redirected.
I have been to SLC many times (skiing and driving through). One time on a ski trip we were "absorbing" some local history and did the tour of the Temple. An elderly woman tour guide explained that the Temple builders mainly had pine lumber to work with but then hand painted grain on much of the wood to resemble oak (think of all those pews, framing, etc). However one of the group said, "Yeah that's all nice but what about the multiple wives?" This tour guide never missed a beat and said her grandmother had been in such a situation because "back in the day there were few righteous men and many righteous women"
Fuck the mormons!
Mark Foley would like to amend that motion on the floor and re-state it as "Fuck only the little boy mormons who work as pages.
I agree!
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